Can I borrow your chapstick??

This weekend were expecting company for dinner. Company we have never had to our home. So, to break this down for ya, it basically means I was cleaning the house ALL day while making very little progress due the fact I have four kids 8 and under constantly messing up my work.

The three girls share a room, and it was a mess!! It was clean the day before. But they cheated when they 'cleaned' it, and just hid stuff in every nook and cranny of the room. Being the mom I am, this morning I threw it all in one big pile in the middle of the room.

Talia (2), takes an afternoon nap. That room clearly wouldn't be available, as I could see it would take the older two girls quite some time to clean up their mess. So, I set up a pack-n'play (portable crib) in my room. ahem... my room was already clean, thank you very much!

I did this yesterday too, and realized I had an escape artist on my hands. Talia climbed out of the crib, but I put her back in and she fell asleep for two hours. All's good. She seemed to learn her lesson about climbing out of the crib. ... yeah.... that was yesterday.

Today she escaped again. So I followed 'procedure'. She was quite upset. I put her back into the 'crib', and left the room. I even got her a couple of books to read as she lulled herself to sleep. (awww.. what a good mommy.. right?)

I went to go back to cleaning. Two HOURS later, I notice our bedroom door is ajar.

Hmmmm. I tip-toe in quietly. I see a bundle of covers in the crib. Is she all wrapped up in those??? She looks awfully small. I glance around the room. I don't see her or hear her. I touch the bundle of covers.

I'VE BEEN FOILED!!!

She is not there!! I then notice that the bathroom door is cracked and the light is on. I walk over and open the door.

Talia is standing there STARK naked with her pajamas and open dirty diaper on the floor beside her.
In her hand is my chapstick and she is rubbing it on her nipple. Yes. You read that right. I don't even want to think about what other body parts she may have rubbed it on.

The room smells HEAVILY of perfume? Cologne? Lotion? And some other concoction. Lord a mercy!!!

Her body is tacky to the touch. I would bathe her, but don't have time before the guests arrive. Instead I dress her and desperately search for the aromatic culprit.  Plus, I'm afraid to wash the girl - she might explode into a mountain of bubbles - depending on what she has drenched herself in.

I look here and there. I can't find it!! It's making me go mad. What IS that smell??? I ask her to take me on a tour of my own bathroom. I put on my very best smile and cute Mommy voice. "Did you touch this????" yes. A nod. Okay, "What else did you touch??... that? Oh! How fun!And what else??"

I think you can see how this goes. She got into:
Bubble bath/shower gel
Daddy's cologne
sunscreen
my tanning oil
aloe vera gel
lotion and
(obviously chapstick)
...that I know of!

And um... I forgot to mention the HUGE pile of toilet paper on the counter. Fine, I'm not throwing it out. I will use it. Cause I'm a mom, and that is just expensive to waste.

Too bad I didn't look in the toilet for another hour or so.....

Um yeah. The toilet lid was shut, but when I opened it, it was piled to. the. top. with wet piles of toilet paper. AAAGHHH! It took me, a plunger and several tries to get it down.



Sooooo.... enough about me. How was YOUR weekend??