I cannot tell a lie

So.... here's the story. It is so stinkin funny, and I can't seem to reach my husband, so I'm going to share it with you all.

On the way home from picking Vivianne up from kindergarten, Alex and Avalon were in the back of the minivan. Avalon was looking at a new Christmas entertaining/cook book I had bought. Talia was in the middle looking at a new catalog.

I heard a loud rip.
"Talia! Did you rip mommy's new catalog??"

The answer was no - it was Avalon in the back seat with my new book.

"Avi!!" I cry out. She feels bad and begins to cry.

Then it begins. (it gets real good. read the following with much drama and angist, and anger, and anguish)

Alex: "She ripped out a whole page!"  (me: where is it?)
"On her lap." (oh yeah? Hand it to me.)
"She threw it on the floor!"

If you haven't guessed yet, those were all lies. Yep. All three. One page still inside the book is half torn through.

"On her lap".... Puhhh- lease! What to do? A lot of the punishments we have tried don't seem to sink into our 8 year old boys little head. Hmmm...

I know. I was going to go old school. REALLY old school. Like 1890's kind of school.

When we got home, I asked him to grab a pad of paper and a pencil. At the top I wrote - I will not lie. I will not make stuff up.

Then I told him to write that 100 times, with each new set of sentences numbered.

This is where the story gets gooder.

He broke down and cried. Sobbed. 'I'm so sorry!! There was a paper, really, it just... disappeared.'
"100 times??? That's like... a BILLION words!!!!    100 times???? That is like, um, 200 sentences!!!' Feel the anguish in the words....

This is fantastic. I am laughing at the stove because the scene behind me would bring anyone into a fit of laughter, AND my boy is working on math!! Halelu!!

Then, he bargins over and over again - why 100 times? Why not 50 sentences, why not 20?  He gives in.  "Fine." he says subbornly. "I will write them, but I won't number them."

Oh yes you will I say.

"Fine. But I'm NOT going to have good handwriting!!!"

Oh yes you will, I say again. And I add that any sentence written with poor handwriting will be written again.

He's on number 34.
You can see how thrilled he is. Okay. You got me. These are from another, yet different pout. Kids...