The interview

This is a little deep maybe. Has the potential for going a little long, perhaps a bit confusing... but I have some thoughts going on here......

I have this feeling.... a strong feeling, almost like a belief, about some things I will be seeing and doing and living through in the years to come. I 'see' how me and my husband can be used, to touch people, to minister, and to offer practical help. I see this with my mind's eye often. Almost daily. It is a position of leadership, per-se, but not a glamorous one. But a leader nonetheless.

If my 'mind's eye' and heart are correct, and this would come to pass one day - I figure I'm a shoo-in for the job. I mean, it's like Jennifer Aniston auditioning for a movie that stars Rachel Green. (for you that are not Friend's fans, Jen played Rachel in the series.) It's a given.

Anyway..... lately.... I feel like I'm being interviewed for my very own job. And yes, I'm being cryptic on purpose here, I'm not going to post all of my innermost heart thoughts on a public blog. For many reasons.... but I am talking about something spiritual here.

What I see in my future with my spirit (heart), I feel is being tested in the spiritual and physical now. It's almost like I feel God is saying, "Yes, that could be yours, but can you hack it??? Let's see..."

To tell you the truth, I really would like to earn His trust and favor, so I dearly want to nail this interview... but it's a doosie. At least, it feels like it.

I don't know if you have been reading about our moving/not moving/moving/not moving house selling experience, but you only got the tip of the iceberg. Not the full guts and glory.  You missed out on the gut-wrenching sob of a pity party every time we 'lose' a house. You don't see me reading the Bible trying to find just the right verse that applies to me - so that I can pray it to 'move' God. (that's not normal behavior... fyi.... but honest. Desperate times call for.... crazy actions.)

Then there are 'things' with my kids. I know, I know, every parent has their own 'things'. But.... I have been parenting for a few years now, with plenty of adventure, but when the 'things' all hit at once it feels more like a test, than a shared human experience.

Avalon out of nowhere... has been having "tickle-ish" lips. She means her lips are tingling, and I have given her Benadryl for it. This is common with an allergy - but to what?!?!? She has been the same day in and day out for 4 years, and now.... swollen lips??? Like I need more mystery in my life??? Or food allergies!! She even has woken in the middle of the night with it. And today, poor thing, they were all swollen and chapped from her biting them. The baby, Talia, has her own issues - which, really, to spare you, I won't go into detail. She also is supplying me with mysteries to solve.

Anyway... I was thinking about all I have going on in my life. I feel like it is some cosmic test to see how much I can handle without exploding. And somethings don't even have to be 'bad' to fit into this interview. Let's not forget the homeschooling, and constant cleaning of the house for showings. Oh! And we've also had three (3!) flat tires in the last two months. I mean.... what the????

All that to say, this is a looonnng interview. (wink) I sure hope I get the job after all this!