The movie whisperer

I have a love/hate relationship with movies. I just finished watching one and there are two main problems with me watching a film.

1. It takes me to another world.

and,

2. It takes me to another world.

See, I'm really not a grown-up at all. (I had y'all fooled for a minute, didn't I?) I am somewhere between 6 and 12 years old walking around in an adult body. How old I am just depends on the day..... ;)

The first "takes me to another world" is amazing. After watching Moneyball, I was pretty darn sure I could easily be a pro baseball player. How hard could it be - it was just a game of math!! (Plus to work with Brad Pitt...err... wait... never mind) Seriously though, thought I had a chance at baseball. Really I did. Ask my husband. I was temporarily delusional.

Cinderella. Saw it in the theater when I was six. Had dreamed about meeting my prince so I could stop doing my cleaning chores ever since. heehee

All the 'girlie' romantic comedies that got me through high-school, college-aged years, engagement, and ...well, still now in marriage, that make you feel anything in love is possible. Even if you've had a baby barfing on you for three days. They take you someplace. Some place magical. Somewhere where dreams come true if you work hard enough, that you really could be beautiful and prom queen if you just take off your glasses and change your hair..... someday that guy will notice you, and think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread and not just an invisible dork. (yes, I know I'm married, but these films evoke feelings from long ago - basic woman/knight in shining armor feelings- okay peeps???)

The 'bring it on' type of movie. You know,.... the one where the ballerina who can't afford dance school and has to go back to her cheer leading competitions, but ultimately has to have a hip hop dance off to save the world???? Yeah. When I'm done watching those (if I actually make it through the movie), I'm convinced I can sooooo do those same moves and think about auditioning them for our next church Christmas or Easter production. (note to self, never ever watch those movies near the holidays)

Then there are the other 'takes me to another world'. These are not so pleasant. Not. Worst one ever in memory bank: I AM LEGEND.

Oh. My. Gosh. I had nightmares for a year and a half after that movie. I have finally learned to block the end of the scene if one of them should pop up on my visual memory slide show. I still don't handle the word 'hive' well..... (course that could be partly because I'm scared to death of bees... but that's another story for another time.) If it wasn't my husband who 'made' me watch it with him, I'd probably have some unforgiveness in my heart for taking away just a tiny piece of my soul.... but I'm not mad at you dear, really. Yeah...sure... that was some 'crazy' movie "effects". anywho......

True stories about animals. I can't separate real from 'movie magic' and most true story movies about animals include scenes that make me squeamish. Bears eating humans, horses breaking their legs, dogs lost, out in the wilderness, all on their own, trying to cover a thousand miles just to get back to their owner who didn't know they are lost, all the while being chased by mountain lions, and starving.... sniff!! Yeah. Those movies mess me up too, so I try an avoid them at all cost. I don't care how amazing Secretariat and the other horse movie was that came out several years ago... I can't watch the whole thing. I just 'pass' by the room every now and then and glance at the screen, but I can't just sit there and let it in.

Once, when I was dating, I was again 'forced' to watch Simon Birch. I'm told this is a great guy movie. Obviously a guy movie. I freaking cried my eyes out. Like... heaving, gut wrenching sobs. The guy was like - you couldn't see his death coming.....?????? Um... yeah. Totally saw it, that's why I'm rocking back in forth in a fetal position bawling my eyes out.....

And last but not least: the movie that was written and directed by some secret agent that saw my junior-high years. The movie about the dork in high school who finally grows up and tries to be a normal person. That is the movie I saw tonight. Dang it! Why was I such a dork??? (if I still am, please. don't tell me. just let me think I've hit the normalcy mode. please)

It's not all entirely my fault that I had braces, and large plastic horrible glasses, and a million other things.... all at the same time. Who can control their eyesight? Or if their teeth grow in a nice little line?? Or if they dressed like a dork... oh wait. I guess that one I coulda controlled....

eh.... back to the movie. I just watched one of these high school horror shows and it made me glad that I'm not in junior high anymore. Sheesh. Hate it for my kids someday! Poor kids...

If I could change one thing about me now?? Would I change my spirit? How sensitive I am to not only movies, but the world around me? No. I like being moved to tears (or sobs if you're watching the Notebook) because I'm not a calloused ol' broad with a heart of stone. And that's a good thing. I like feeling like a dancer or a pro sport player - I will just have to keep those types of movies at the top of my list. I mean, they don't call em "feel good" movies for nothing!