2009 Christmas letter

Here is our Christmas letter that never got sent for this year:

Dear Family and Friends,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
We have had quite the banner year around here!

Alex is in first grade, and last spring and this fall, not once did we have to send him to school in his pajamas or without a breakfast! Quite an accomplishment - especially if you saw our house in the early mornings! (A true Christmas letter must have exclamation points after all the sentences....) He is a bright boy and talks our heads off constantly! Patrick and I now have stock in ear plug companies!

Vivianne 'got out into the world' this year when she started dance classes at our church. However we pulled her out of them early. As much as Patrick and I love to pay for her to sit in a corner and watch other kids dance, we decided this is something we could do at home - for free. Much to her dismay, her dance class was 'fun' but didn't offer enough time to play with toys.

Avalon is quite the stylish gal for three. She can in just one day, pull out every piece of clothing from her closet and dress-up bin and try them on! She doesn't yet know how to really fold clothes though, so we look forward to teaching her new skill sets!

Talia is a fourth born baby in 5.5 years. We are so thankful that she has survived the year, and has never gone without food (for too long) nor has any trauma happened thanks to eager and loving older bro and sisters!

Tara has had a full year too. (Why does everyone talk about themselves third-person in Christmas letters???) She hasn't traveled anywhere amazing, but she does have an amazing amount of laundry to do each day. She never went anywhere exotic, but she has scrapped some very exoctic food off of dirty dishes that are never-ending. Sometimes there was even exotic things growing in a particular dish left to be discovered in the far reaches.... of the basement. She likes to garden too - which is fun since the garden didn't grow this year. Life is always full of surprises!

Patrick is an amazing husband busy with his job and helping Tara with the kids and house. We find cleaning the house exciting, because when we get to a room that has had 'junk' on the floor for forever and we actually clean it all up - the carpet looks brand new! And since we are trying to remodel half our home, the 'areas of junk' that collect are bountiful indeed! After the kids are in bed at night we enjoy passing out on the couch from the exhaustion of the day and staring at the walls.

Hope your next year is truly exciting too!
Love, us

Solace by Design

Sometimes, it feels like most of my house looks like this:



I love to have a vibrant and colorful house (walls). I don't mean to sound un-PC here, but remember that I'M not the person who said this. ....Do you remember the movie Fools Rush In in which a Latina wife painted every wall of her home a bright and different color?? Well, my home is not like that - exactly... but I don't have white walls either. And this is the comment I got one day: I have company over and they were seeing the walls for the first time. They remarked that "When you move, you'll have to sell your house to Mexicans."

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold the phone. Don't get mad at me for repeating that. If you think about it, it could be a huge compliment. I'm just trying to get my design for the house communicated to you. I don't like bland. On the other hand, I don't have teal or orange walls. I fall somewhere in between.

But I like solace too. Peace. Quiet. Sophisticated beauty.
Hence, welcome to the master bedroom. The room is not boring. The walls are not white, but a warm, inviting, and calming... beige. The entire room is beige, black, and white. And I love it. The lack of color is really peaceful. Different. Serene. It is not lacking for patterns I guarantee. The *damask* pattern repeats throughout the room - as does a vintage couture feel. Art and a knick-knack here or there with mens and ladies hats/shoes/dresses on them. All in beige, black or white.

Well, you get the idea. I got new towels for Christmas from my rocking sis (SIL) - and I wanted to show off the new look. I love it!!! Thanks my sista! You be rocking our bathroom now!! :)

Happy New Year!!

We are about to enter a new decade. Wowsers. I mean, I know this is not new news to you. Everyone is aware of the upcoming new year. Duh, right?? But it is not just a new year this time, it is a whole new decade.

I consider myself to be young, so this is only the 3rd time I remember a decade change. I remember when the clock turned midnight and 1990 became the new year. Wow! I was twelve, what a cool year to become a teenager! Just after midnight I remember standing at our large front room picture window, hiding behind the long curtains staring into the street. There is a street light in front of my mom's home and it was lighting up all of the snow. It was really pretty. And really peaceful. I had deep thoughts. (that is not a joke) I truly was pondering what lay ahead for me in life and had a very 'grown up' moment for a twelve year old.

Next decade up: 2000. I won't soon forget that year. Patrick and I were on a mini "break". I went to a wedding that night, and since I was on a 'break', it made the wedding a little less fun. Especially since they played our song for their video montage. :( So not cool. (Don't worry, all is okay - we ended up getting married and he surprised me by singing that song to me at our wedding!) :)
We survived Y2K, I quickly got back together with Patrick... and life went on. I remember where I was at midnight though, and it was definitely the start of another decade I won't forget.

Here we are at 2010. Will this decade change be emblazoned on my brain like the other two?? I have four little kids. Will I pass out from exhaustion long before midnight and sleep through it?? Will it be anti-climatic just sitting on the couch watching Ryan Seacrest rock it out in Las Vegas and NYC?? I can tell you this... we have no big smashing glamorous party planned. We have none that we are invited to. Just us. But maybe that is the perfect combination. Maybe that will be my permanent memory for this decade. It is the first new decade Patrick and I will ring in together.....(thanks to that little break, but anyhoo.....)

So maybe just the two of us on the couch kissing at midnight with a rum and coke, or a cherry Pepsi, or sparkling cider in our hands is all the 'fantastic' memory I need. Either way, I'm looking forward to a whole new DECADE to explore and live out loud. I love getting 'older' because I like who I become every year more and more. If I can continue that trend, then life is good. Really good.

The Magic of Christmas

Finally it is here. That wonderful, peaceful, content feeling that comes with family time on Christmas day.

Yesterday was hectic. At one point late last night I was in my dress clothes and ...socks.... trying to push our minivan up an icy hill. Not exactly what you envision yourself doing on Chrismas Eve...or any day for that matter.

But now, it is Christmas. All FOUR children are happy and quiet sitting here with me watching a sweet animated movie. Homemade bread is baking in the kitchen (mmm...smells sooo good!)....I had a nap, everyone is thrilled with their gifts, there is snow outside....ahhh.....


Take a deep breath and revel in all that is. The beauty of life. The simplicity of a small heartfelt gift. The pure joy of a child with a new toy. A baby's smile, laugh, and babble. A hug. A Saviour that came to be with you.


We had our church Christmas Eve service last night. It was nice to just settle in with family in the midst of our last minute craziness and enjoy the season and the reason for celebration.



Hope your Christmas was magical too!

Christmas in the real world

You can be all Martha-Stewartish this season and brag about how you are making precious perfect Christmas cookies with your babies at your side. You can tell me how you all dressed in 19th century garb and caroled your neighborhood and then the retirement home. You can say you served soup with your children at the homeless shelter,...blah, blah, blah.... and the list goes on and on. All with perfectly well-behaved children in tow, right?? I'm sure you would tell me that your kids aren't fussy, or crying at all, right?

Can I move to your world??

I will admit that I am exaggerating a bit, but doesn't it ever feel for like this:
"Stop crying and smile for this picture... or I'm gonna swat ya!"

"Hurry up and GET OFF THE FLOOR, you're messing up your hair - and get over here to get on your Chirstmas dress!"

"GET IN THE CAR! We are late for the Christmas service!"

"Stop WHINING - this is supposed to be fun. NOW START HAVING FUN!"

Overall, my kids are REALLY good kids. Today is a tough day and I admit it. I'm stressed out and not ready for Christmas (so, you know, I'm writing on my blog....), and the kids are having an off day. All that "wrapped" into one and it turns out it is not a fun 'present' today. But, alas, it is finally nap time. Time to push the reset button. I ate food. That always seems to help. :) I jumped on here to say hello to y'all, and hopefully rested children will wake up with sweet spirits, cute smiles and a happy outlook!

Wishing you a merry Christmas and hoping you have time to hurry up and rest!! ;)

Put That Thing Back Where It Came From

So here we are in the Christmas season. Festive stores, music, entertainment, clothing and blogs.

And yet, I am here a few days before Christmas writing to you about.... boogers.

Sorry. I'm a mom. And mom-hood never stops. Not even at Christmas. Oh well.

We were driving around town in our new minivan yesterday. Ahh....love the new ride. We were running errands and my three year old makes an announcement from the middle row of seats.

"Mom! I found a booger!!" (said rather excitedly. more like she just found a pot of gold. ehhh....pardon the pun)

"Where did you find it?" I ask. (knowing full well, but enjoying the craziness of a conversation with a three year old.)

"In my nose!!" (imagine that!!)

Not wanting to have a booger wiped on our new car, or wanting to establish that as 'okay' behavior, I sugggested she put it on her blankie she brought with her. I figured this would make her think twice about it since her blankie is so treasured.

I was right about her thinking twice, but she still managed to surprise me with what came next.

"I'll just put it back...."

I'm sitting at a red light turned towards my daughter - and I see her refuse to wipe the offender on the blanket, look at it, and then shove it and the finger deep into her nose!! Aaghhh! I didn't know if I should laugh or scream. ;)

Ahh... the joys of motherhood.

More Toys, Please...

What is it about our culture that translates the size or cost of gifts into love??

We draw names for Christmas each year and this year I have my sister, her husband, and her two kids. Now, if she reads this, she is in for no surprises, as I have already shared these thoughts with her. I'm just taking a minute to share my thoughts with you too.

She has two and a half kids (one is still in the "oven"). I love them dearly. Sweet kids. I love being an aunt. I have five nephews and one precious niece. Somehow, though, I feel like society as a whole gets to judge how much you love someone by what you gave them.

In the email my sister sent with her 'wish list', it was my perception that the kids have a ton of toys. Toys that are all not even being played with right now, with some in Tupperware bins. (I hear ya loud and clear! Ditto our home.) The wish list for her son included things like.....pajamas.

So.... with out spoiling all the fun.... I got the kids some of the things on the wish list and avoided the toy hunt. Now, I should tell you that the kids are 1, and 3 years old, and will not remember if their aunt really blows it this year. Ya know??
But as I look at their family's unwrapped gifts as I prepare for Friday, I feel the absence of large, plastic wrapped and shiny toys means I love them less. Totally not true... I just really love their mommy and don't want to burden her with more things to litter her floor! :)

I'm a little mad that society has made me feel this way. Did you ever see the Office episode where Michael Scott gets a handmade oven mitt for the Christmas gift exchange and he is super offended at the "cheap handmade" gift??? That feeling totally permeates our culture and even I have fallen victim at times. Partly right now, in this season as I feel "certain articles of clothing" are not a "loving" gift.

I have no real conclusion to this post, other than to vent my frustration at my own thoughts and society's shallow mentality. But, there is hope. I remember being about ....6?.... years old and unwrapping Raggedy Ann underwear from my Aunt Diane. I was like... "underwear, seriously???", but I did love those panties!! And I still remember it twenty some years later! So... you never know my dear niece and nephew.... maybe I'll be your favorite auntie after all!!

Can I hear an "Amen"....

Overheard today:

"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my children."



I hear ya girl, I hear ya....

"Run, Forest, Run!!"

When you get to know me you learn one thing:

I will only run if someone is chasing me. I will run out of a building if it is on fire. I will only run if there is a wasp around. (story for another day)

That is my motto. Run from danger. You don't run for pleasure. Only crazy people do that! Why in the world would I do that to myself? Sounds like torture.

So.... then there's my husband. He likes me. (yea!) And he wants me to live for a long time. So He wants me to exercise my heart. (I don't actually exercise. I've attempted it a few times in my life though....)

We have had a Wii for three years now, and one of my favorite things about it is the 'exercise' "games". (I am using the word 'game' loosely here...) About a year ago we bought Wii Active with the Bob Green 30 day fitness challenge. Patrick and I made it all the way through..... four whole days of the the challenge. Whew! Go us!! :)

I picked it up again about two weeks ago. Again, I have made it through the first four days. (in the last two weeks mind you)

This particular game is torture for me, as they "make" you run. Ugh. Hate it. Especially with my huge nursing boobs.(TMI???)

However... I think.... I actually think that maybe it is having a positive affect on me. Last night I dreamt I was running - for exercise - and the most shocking of all.... I liked it.

What spell have you put me under Bob Green?!?!?

So maybe in the year 2010 I may actually be a person who exercises. Who knows.

Not the planned morning I was hoping for....

I backed out of my driveway this morning to take the boy to school and my emergency brake light and ABS light on the dashboard were both on. Hmm.

I pulled forward. The car felt like the brake was on. Oh silly. I reached down to release it. Um... it was not engaged. Freaky. The car was driving like the brake was on, the lights were on... but the brake itself was not on.

Thankfully I was able to get my son to ride to school with my neighbor who was just pulling out of her driveway to take her kids there. (THANKS GOD!)

I managed to get the van back in our driveway. Called hubby. Explained. Explained again. Sometimes I think he, and other guys in general, think women are overreacting. Like the car isn't really broke and I've lost my mind. What part of "it is driving like the brake is on" is not clear? Put your parking brake on and try driving. That pretty much sums it up.

So I go in the house after unloading all three other kids and start researching the internet. Turns out, when those two particular lights are on and the brake 'feels' stuck, it is extremely dangerous to drive the car.

Can I trust the internet? I call the local mechanic. Yep. Call for a tow. Don't drive the van ma'am. Okay. Tow on the way. What a morning! I was supposed to be at Target getting errands accomplished! Oh well! Thank you God that I didn't try driving it! (THANKS GOD!)




The tow truck driver comes and is from Randy's towing. I know the owners wife and son and daughter. I ask him if these are still the owners. They are. And then, all of a sudden, the tow truck driver and I bond. He has been working for them for 30 years and knows the owners like family. We talk about what a great family they are and how they have helped him through some really rough patches in his life. Aww.. a moment with the tow truck driver. (THANKS GOD.)

So, the morning didn't go as planned. In fact, if the internet is correct, we may be out several hundred dollars. Bummer. But, in the midst of a very different day than I foresaw, God has been here. My son has a ride home from school, we are all safe. The van got safely to the mechanic, and I had a moment with someone I would not have had otherwise. It is nice to see the fingerprints of God on your life, even when He is painting a different picture than you had in mind!

Little Drummer Boy

Feeling a little bit like the drummer boy today.

I love that song. Love it. Almost every rendition too.

Have you listned to it recently? The drummer boy has nothing to give the King. Ever feel like that??

I know my posts my seem kinda depressing lately. I'm not depressed. Just busy trying to clean a home, and thinking about my life.

The truth of it is, I am not the drummer boy. I have a rich, rich life... but sometimes we don't think we have it all so good.

My hubby is a Dr. that travels to people's homes to treat them there when they cannot get out to a doctor's office. He has helped so many people, and sometimes in critical moments, like the other day when he walked into a patient's home to find her on the floor. Who knows how long she would've been stuck there, unable to get up or call for help without him walking in on her. He is amazing in our family life too.

Then there is me. Stuck here. In the freezing cold. Attempting to clean a house. With 3-4 kids with me at all times. I offer what again??? I mean, we have learned from older posts that my cleaning skills are not so good apparently....
I'm not out reaching the masses. I have no big fancy public status. I don't have money to change someone's life.

My mind drew a blank. What did I have to offer the King?..... um.... just me. That's all. Maybe there is more that I can't think of, but still, right now, I can't think of something great I can do for the King. Frankly, I'm having a hard time thinking of a small thing I could give Him.

(Yes, yes, I know... raising kids for God is huge, important.... etc, etc. But when you're in the trenches and it feels like they are not 'hearing' you at all sometimes....)

So as I was rockin' around the kitchen this morning while that song played on the radio and I was feeding rice cereal to the baby, I could really relate to that little Drummer Boy.

All I have is me. Thankfully, that - is enough.

'Tis the Reason

I'm guessing you assume that I am talking about the 'reason for the season'. No... not today, but perhaps soon. I am talking about the reason my house is a mess.

It came to me like an epiphany. This is how the morning started:

I woke up with a bunch of motivation to 'get going'. Yea! Mornings are not my thing... so it took me a minute (okay an hour or so...) but by 8:00am I was up and running.

That is when I realized why the house is a disaster. Here is my quest to do laundry and the dishes. Two very basic, everyday chores that must be completed....or so you would hope.

I am dressed, ah.... now to grab the laundry basket in my room to take to the washer..."mom! Can I color on the computer?" No.... I pick up the basket and walk to the stairs.

(Screams from the girl's room) I run to check on them. Everyone is alive. I head back to take the dirty laundry downstairs. I actually get all the way to the laundry room when another child comes running in to say that the baby spit up all over. "I'll get it in a minute...." I casually say. But when they tell me it is up her noise, I decide to run to rescue the babe.

While I am upstairs I realize the babe has also exploded her morning diaper. So I change her. Oops! The diaper pail is overflowing. I go to put the baby in the living room to play and grab a trash bag.

I go into the kitchen to get a trash bag and realize I still haven't packed Alex his school lunch. I yell for him to bring me his lunchbox and unpack it.

I take the trash bag back to the baby's room and start to put it in the pail. The phone rings. It is my husband. He needs the number to (church/a friend/ the bank...). I put the trash bag down and head for the phone book. "Can I call you back?" I ask. The baby is being "moved" by her older sister and this is looking scary.

I scold the older sister for trying to move the baby and my son announces that his backpack is "missing."

Well... you get the point I hope. So, here I wake up with all this motivation and so far in the last hour these are my accomplishments:

Laundry is IN the laundry room, but not started.

I realized I have a lunch to make.

The baby is changed and rescued (twice).

The diaper pail has been emptied, but there is no new bag replaced. Good luck to the next diaper changer.

I am now on a hunt for a backpack - since school starts in 30 minutes.


So... an hour later my house still looks like crud, and some may argue it is even worse off.... At least I realized WHY it looks like this. I never get to finish a single blazing task!!


....Oh my goodness.... I still need to call my hubby back!!

All I want for Christmas.....

Okay, here's the thing: I do like to have a clean house.
I dream about having one. I imagine what a clutter-free, simply organized and tidy house would look like.

I imagine it, because I do not have it.

I have a pile of books (from my son's room) stacked 18 inches high in the livingroom. Why?? Good question. Ask the three little munchkins who put them there late last night for apparently no reason.

I cannot find my fingernail clippers. Generally they are in the bathroom. That is the logical place. But nooo.... that's not where they are now that I have a nail broken down to the base and really need to trim it before it snags every soft piece of material in the house.

In the past I have found muffin tins in the master bathroom. What?? I mean, c'mon kids....!

We have strewn coats, and paper, and socks, and toys in basically every room of the house. (UGH!)

That is just part of having four kids 6 and under I guess. I remember when we just had one little baby in our townhome. The ENTIRE home was model home clean for three weeks at a time. Now I can only manage to get one room clean at a time - EVER.

Ahh.... I say to myself.... the baby nursery is PERFECT. Clean, tidy, organized.
OOP! But wait, don't leave that room!!

The livingroom is clean and beautiful. The doorbell rings. What? You have to use the bathroom? Oh no!! The bathroom is disgusting! Don't go in there.... there is a gas station down the street. Think you can hold it???

The kitchen sees perfect cleanliness less often due the fact it is generally used more than O'Hare airport during the course of a normal day. Forget the days we actually cook. Like yesterday when we decided it would be "fun" to have the three older kids decorate Christmas cookies. Don't get me wrong. A ton of "fun" and memories. But the kitchen looks like something exploded.

Frankly, I'm tired. I'm tired of the pointlessness. I can't STOP cleaning...(obviously) but it would be nice to see a reward for your work. It would be so stinking AWESOME to clean a room and be able to SHOW someone. Before I can sneeze the room is usually torn to bits again. At least that is how it feels.

We have our kids clean their own rooms.... they help with other tasks.... but apparently our 'balance' is still 'off'. Oh well!

For now our master bedroom is less of a peaceful, romantic retreat than it is an obstacle course from bedside to bathroom. (Certainly makes a 2am pee more intersting.)

Does anyone relate? Did I only end up making you feel superior since your own home is so clean?? Do you look down on me now? :) If you can relate- then good. We are not alone. Let's stick together! Moms of messy houses - unite!

I have an idea. I'm gonna post this blog, and maybe, just maybe, see if I can find out what color laminate our kitchen counters are.....

Don't Ask

When baby spit up has a chance to dry on your skin it is sticky. Kinda tacky like.

But, it is not as sticky as when new born baby poop dries on your skin.


Don't ask me how I know these two facts. Just take my word for it.

The Right Place

Kids have a remarkable knack for speaking the truth.

I mean, like when you look like a dork and they tell you straight to your face when no other human would do that to you.

Or when your kids say you look beautiful (and you do) even though you feel like a sloppy loser.

(Have you ever had your kids walk in on you while undressing or changing your clothes and start laughing at your "funny wrinkly" tummy??? - Yeah... well kid - YOU made it all wrinkly....)

Anyway, the other night we were setting up the Christmas tree. We put the fake metal branches into the metal tree stand. We put the blinking multi-colored lights on the tree. We put the numerous non-matching, but quite sentimental, ornaments on the branches. I put on velvet cream bows in hopes of "tying it all together". Then we put the tree skirts below. (Yes, we have two this year. One thanks to my sister in law and one because of my son. One tree, two skirts...)

So, the tree was finished and standing there, blinking lights in all it's glory. Our six year old son was the only one left in the room with my husband and I after putting the younger girls to bed. The room was tidy other than the nativity scene which sat in the middle of the floor. Alex went over to it and put it on the tree skirt under the tree.

Immediately I said, "That's not where that goes, Alex. We will find a place for it though...."

Actually, that is exactly where it should go, right?? You are supposed to put gifts under the tree. And Jesus coming to this earth is the greatest gift of all time. He came, He died for you and me, and then He rose from the grave to reign in Heaven. He lives in our hearts today because he came to earth in that tiny, dirty manger.

Perhaps once again my child has spoken the truth in a way adults can't. Perhaps we have just started a new tradition in our home. Either way, my eyes and heart saw something in a new light the other night. Thanks for speaking the truth kiddo!

"Not In This House"

Okay, so when you become a parent, you begin to discuss things and say sentences you never would have otherwise. For instance - dirty diapers and potty training escapades are "okay" dinner party conversation.

You find yourself saying things like "No Susie, we don't use toilet water for our play teapot".

Or in a public bathroom your toddler may praise you loudly, "Good job going pee-pee Mommy!"

Or another all-time favorite public restroom conversation, "Mama, how come you don't have a penis like Daddy???" (This is usually said loud enough that the little old lady four stalls down from you begins to faint.

Here is the latest I-only-said-this-out-loud-because-I'm-a-parent scenario:
I enter our livingroom and hear our 4 and 3 year old girls talking in the adjacent bedroom. Our four year old is laying on her bed while the 3 year old is standing on the bed over her. These are the words that filter out to my ears - "Okay", says the 4 yr old laying down, "now I be the toilet and you pee on me."

Heavens to Betsy!!
I of course rush into the room to see the standing 3 year old (who was only just potty-trained in the last two months and hence the origin of this particular make-believe) start to pull her pants down over her rear as she locks eyes with me.

I say quite matter of factly "We do NOT play toilet in this house young lady. Do you understand me??"

Thankfully no one actually pottied. (I knew this, but thought I'd clear it up for you....) And my daughter thoughtfully clarified the situtation. "Mommmm.... we're just 'tending!"

And... so another entry in the book of 'things I never thought I'd say out loud".