"Not In This House"

Okay, so when you become a parent, you begin to discuss things and say sentences you never would have otherwise. For instance - dirty diapers and potty training escapades are "okay" dinner party conversation.

You find yourself saying things like "No Susie, we don't use toilet water for our play teapot".

Or in a public bathroom your toddler may praise you loudly, "Good job going pee-pee Mommy!"

Or another all-time favorite public restroom conversation, "Mama, how come you don't have a penis like Daddy???" (This is usually said loud enough that the little old lady four stalls down from you begins to faint.

Here is the latest I-only-said-this-out-loud-because-I'm-a-parent scenario:
I enter our livingroom and hear our 4 and 3 year old girls talking in the adjacent bedroom. Our four year old is laying on her bed while the 3 year old is standing on the bed over her. These are the words that filter out to my ears - "Okay", says the 4 yr old laying down, "now I be the toilet and you pee on me."

Heavens to Betsy!!
I of course rush into the room to see the standing 3 year old (who was only just potty-trained in the last two months and hence the origin of this particular make-believe) start to pull her pants down over her rear as she locks eyes with me.

I say quite matter of factly "We do NOT play toilet in this house young lady. Do you understand me??"

Thankfully no one actually pottied. (I knew this, but thought I'd clear it up for you....) And my daughter thoughtfully clarified the situtation. "Mommmm.... we're just 'tending!"

And... so another entry in the book of 'things I never thought I'd say out loud".