observations

~ If you own a computer and need to maintain it with updates and security features... you should have a glass of wine.

~ If you need to talk to someone about technical problems with the computer and it's security features... you should have a large glass of wine and a Valium.

~If said 'help' can't understand English, and you can't understand them.... you should breathe deeply, try to stop rolling your eyes, remember that with God we love all people, have a margarita and a few Valium.

~The phrase 'scream into a pillow' was not accidental.
At some point in time a woman probably screamed due to said problems above, and her kind neighbor thinking there was certain danger, probably called the police. Then the woman probably had to explain to the police that there was no danger and that she is fine even though there is a baseball bat shaped hole in her computer monitor.

~If you scream into a pillow you definitely will feel better....but you may still want to have a glass of wine or Valium in the house.